The other Way around
by Dounutlovesick
Summary: Alex makes it back from Cadmus and is a shadow of the Person that she used to be. For the first Time in her Life it is now up to Kara to put the broken Pieces of her sister back together. Trigger Warning: Mention of Suicide
1. Chapter 1

It has been 3 months since they had said their goodbyes. For 3 months Kara had been searching for them. When she wasn't at Catco or fighting some Criminal or some escaped Alien she was either at the DEO looking for leads or she would fly around, trying to listen for her sister. Nothing had worked so far, there was no sign of them anywhere. The Hero grew more frustrated and scared with every passing day. Sleeping wasn't something she did a lot these days, only when she was so exhausted, that her body pretty much forced her to rest. It had been three months when one night, out of nowhere, her phone started to ring. She had taken a nap on her couch and was up in a second. It was Vasquez.

"Supergirl, our Cameras picked up a lonely figure just outside National City. It's woman that fits Alex physique, but we cant get a clear picture."

Kara's Heart stopped, her Body froze and when she didn't answer, out of pure shock, the Agent continued.

"She looks disoriented and is just wandering around. We don't exactly know who or what she is. So be careful when you approach."

Still no answer.

"Supergirl?"

"Yes..yes umm text me the location I'll be on my way."

Kara hung up the phone and got into her suit, she checked where she was going and then flew out. The young Hero tried not to think to much during the flight. The girl had gotten her hopes up before, just to get them crushed again. In the distance she saw a woman walking on a field, there was a slight limp in her walk and she looked way to thin. Kara carefully landed and approached the woman, her heart was pounding in her chest.

"Alex?", she called out quietly.

The woman was startled by suddenly having company, she turned around so fast that she feel to the ground. Scared she held her arms up in front of her face as a defense.

"No! No please don't hurt me! I didn't mean to run away!"

Kara was shocked, her Heart was breaking and she felt emotions, she couldn't even describe. There she was in front of her, the sister that she had been looking for for the last three months. Just that this woman on the Ground in front of her was hardly the sister she knew. She had deep black circles under her eyes, she was so thin that you could almost see her bones sticking out. And her expression, her expression wasn't the kick-ass and not-scared-of-anything one she had worn all her life, no it was almost...haunting.

Alex was still on the Floor, holding up her hands an begging for whoever it was not to hurt her. Supergirl wanted to cry. Out of happiness and relief that she had finally found her, out of sorrow for her sisters condition and out of anger for the people that had done that to her. But she couldn't cry, not this time or at least not yet.

Kara bend down and slowly touched her sisters shoulder, she flinched away.

"Alex..Alex look at me. It's me. You're safe now. I got you."

Kara slowly grabbed the older girls hands and tried to pry them away form her Face. She held them in hers and tried not to think about how much they were shaking. Alex still refused to open her eyes. She had recognized her sisters voice, but she was sure her mind was playing tricks on her, it wouldn't have been the first time. It couldn't be true, it would have been to good to he true, Alex was sure of that. So she clenched her eyes shut, tears still escaping them.

"Alex. Please, you can trust me. No one is going to hurt you. Ever again.." Kara's voice cracked a little at the last part as she stroked her sisters cheek with the back of her hand.

Very slowly the Agent opened her eyes and she was meet with her sisters loving ones. She let out a hiccuped sob and slowly lifted her hands to hold the Hero's Face in them.

"Kara..?"

She could feel her sister nod. Within seconds she was latched onto the younger girl, she cling to her as if her life depended on it and sobbed into her neck. Kara didn't know what to do, usually it always had been the other way around. So she just listened to her instinct and stocked the older girl back, whispering soothing words.

After she was sure her sister had calmed down a little bit, she lifted her of the cold ground. Alex noticed that and held on to her a little bit tight. Kara swallowed back tears, feeling how light her sister was.

"Alex. I'm going to fly us to the DEO OK? They are going to take a look at you."

When the only response from Alex was to bury herself further into her sisters neck, the Hero took off.

She was very gentle and held a steady tempo, trying not to make Alex sick on top of everything. After a couple of minutes she heard The Agents Heartbeats being more calm and steady, she had fallen asleep. Probably exhausted she cried herself to sleep in her sisters Arms.

A silent Tears escaped the Aliens eyes. She didn't know what to do, how could she ever begin to fix this. How could she make it right? Where was Hank? She didn't know what had happened to her sister in the last few months and she couldn't even begin to understand. She didn't want to imagine it either.

Kara shook her head and tried not to think about that now. On step at the time. First she just had to get Alex to the DEO to make sure she was alright, physically at least. She would figure out the rest later.

She tapped her Earpiece and called the Headquarters, letting them know that she would be coming in with Alex and to have a medical Team ready.

Supergirl landed just outside the DEO and walked inside through the big heavy Doors, still carrying the now half conscious Woman in her Arms. Every Doctor that was on site was ready, waiting for them right there at the entrance with a stretcher. Kara nodded at them and tried to lay her sister down on the bed so they could examine her. Feeling suddenly cold and noticing the change in her position, Alex opened her eyes. She looked around and all she saw were Doctors with needles around her, trying to get her away from her sister. The older woman immediately started to Panic, trying to slap everyone away who tried to touch her.

"No! Stay away from me! No! Kara! Kara help me!"

She was hysterical at that point and the Doctors pulled out some needles, trying to sedate her so she wouldn't hurt herself. Two of them where holding her down, while one was getting the sedative ready. Alex was violently trashing in their grip. Kara couldn't take the sight in front of her, she pushed the Doctors away, leaning over her sister and holding one arm out protectively.

"Back off! No one touches her!"

She looked around at the stunned Doctors. The Hero knew they were only trying to help, but Alex wasn't just 'some patient' they had to treat.

"Can't you see you are scaring her?"

She looked down at her sister, she was laying on the stretcher still hyperventilating and shaking, pure terror in her Face.

"Hey..Alex it's alright. It's alright. I am right here. I got you now. Can you calm down? Please calm down a little for me."

The Agent was getting her Breathing back in check after a couple of Minutes as her sister stroked her Hair.

"That's it", Kara said with a little smile.

"The Doctors are just going to give you something to help you sleep OK?"

She saw Alex eyes widen again and quickly continued.

"No..No it's alright they won't hurt you. They will help you feel better OK? And I will be here the whole time. I'm not going to let your Hand go for even one second."

Alex still looked around skeptic and scared, but she knew she could trust her sister.

"P-promise?", Alex sounded like a scared little child and Kara's Heart broke for the thousands time that day.

"Promise", she assured her.

The Hero turned around and gave the doctors a slight nod. She turned back to her sister and could hear her Heart race starting to get faster as her eyes landed on the needle that was about to pierce her skin.

"Hey. Look at me alright. Just me."

Kara changed her position so she was now standing between the Doctor and her sister, blocking her view from what was happening.

"Just at me." She said again, almost whispering.

Alex obeyed and locked eyes with her sister, flinching slightly as she felt the needle going into her arm, but she knew that she would be alright. That Kara would be by her side the whole time and that she wouldn't be alone when she woke up. The older sister of the two tried to think calming thoughts as she looked into the caring eyes in front of her, she slowly felt herself slipping into darkness.

—

Hi guys!

So that's just a little Idea that I have after the last episodes. I will be a rather dark, angsty Fic. We'll see where it goes. Let me know what you guys think of this concept & if/how I should continue this. Thank you for reading & excuse my English Grammar & writing.

Thanks,

xoxo


	2. Chapter 2

All the examination were over and aside from a few bruised rips, cuts, bruises and a slight concussion she would be alright. The Agent was underweight to, but they would get that back on track. So she would be fine. Physically at least, Kara knew that. She had never seen her sister that way, the look in her eyes, she looked so scared and fragile. The Hero had kept her promise of course, she was sitting at her sister bed side, holding her hand and waiting for her to wake up. She didn't know what would happen after that. All she really wanted to do was lock herself and her sister in her Apartment and just hold her, never leaving her side again and making sure that nothing could harm her.

But life didn't work that way, she had to help get her sister back on her feet, like the other woman had done for her more times than Kara could care to count.

The Hero also wanted to know where Hank was. If he was still..at that place Supergirl would have to go and get him. She had to know, but she couldn't push Alex right thoughts were interrupted by the slight grown of her sister, she was waking up.

"Alex..it's alright. Don't worry you are safe."

All her senses were coming back to the Agent and panic was her response. Fearfully she looked around the Room, starting to breath heavily and trying to rip out her IV. Kara scooped a little closer and grabber her sisters hands, before she could hurt herself.

"No. Alex it's alright.."

"Don't touch me!" The older one ripped her hand away and screamed in her sisters Face. She was shocked by her own outburst and immediately cover her ears with her hand. She pulled her knees tight into her chest, ignoring all kind of pain and mumble to herself.

"I gotta go. I have to get out of here. I gotta get out...", she rocked herself back and forth while doing so.

Tears twinkled in the corner of her eyes as she watched her sister like this. This..all of this was way out of her League. She wasn't the strong one. Her sister was. She would be the one to always to count on to stand tall in a storm and now..now she was broken. She snapped out of her self pity and focused back on her sister. Kara had to do something, she couldn't watch this any longer. Not sure if it was the right way to approach she climbed into the bad and positioned herself next to Alex. Wrapping her tiny body up in her arms. She began to rock back and forth with her and tried to calm her.

"Shhh..shhh. Its alright. I got you now. I got you."Slowly the woman calmed down, her breath beginning to even out.

"Home." Alex begged not looking up from her knees.

"Alex..I'm sorry I don't know if that's the best Idea. I will talk to the Doctors and.."

Alex stretched out her legs and looked up at her sister, locking their eyes together.

"No more Doctors. No more H-Hospital Rooms. No more. I want to go Home. P-Please."

Tears were streaming down the Agents Face and Kara would not deny her that request. She was taking her sister home, taking care of her there, no matter what the Doctors would say.

"No more." She said and put a couple of stray Hairs behind her sisters ears.

Alex closed her eyes and breather out a sight of relive, leaning into her sisters shoulder. After three months..she was finally going home.

••••••••

It had been a few hours and they were finally on their way Home. The Hero was driving, while Alex was in the Backseat leaning against the window and starring at the world that was zooming by. She hadn't really talked after asking Kara to go Home. After she was sure they would leave, she shut everyone and everything out, finding no point in communicating with the outside world anymore, she didn't want to anyways.

Kara slowly pulled open the Door of her sisters apartment. She figured it would be better if they would stay at her place for a while. The Hero turned around and slowly pulled Alex in, steading her as she walked. She guided her over to the sofa and sat her down. Not one word escaped the older woman's mouth.

Looking around her apartment she felt like it had been years, another lifetime even. The life she had in her before, it was gone forever. Nothing would ever be the same, she knew that. It was to painful to think about that, everything was just so painful these days. That's why she decided to shut it off. Shut everything off, so it won't hurt anymore.

"We'll here we are. Home sweet Home."

Kara tried to lighten the mood a little, tried to make it seem normal. When no reply came she just continued to ramble.

"Well I could make us something to eat. You are probably hungry. I mean I could also go out and grab something really quick. We all know my cocking kind of sucks."

She laughed slightly, trying to get a reaction out of her older sister. A snarky comment even. But still, no reply came. Kara started to get nervous and sat next to her sister.

"Well..umm. You can get changed an showered and do..what you have to do and I'll just go and grab us some Takeout."

There was no protest, but also Alex didn't get up to change. She just remained seated and starred into nothingness.

"Alright. I will be right back."

The Hero was about to get off the sofa and head for the Door when she felt Alex grabbing her Hand. It was so hard that Kara would have probably winced if she were from this Planet. Alex was still not looking up from the point she had fixated on the Floor.

"OK. Of course, of course I will stay." Kara shifted her Body sideways so she was facing her sister now.

"You have to talk to me though. I am here for you, you know that right. I want to help you. I just...I don't know how. What do you need? No matter what it is I'll do it."

No reply came, not even a hated herself for being so emotional, she couldn't do anything about the Tears forming in her eyes.

"Alex..Please. Talk to me."

Nothing.

The one person she would ask for advice right now, was far from being the shoulder to lean on. Kara swallowed her Tears and emotions. She had to be Supergirl right now, not the scared little sister.

"Alright. Lets go and get you cleaned up and then I'll order some Food and we will watch some TV or talk or just go to Bed, whatever you want to do."

She waited a few seconds for protest and when nothing came she got up and started running a Bath for her sister, she picked out some fluffy Pyjamas for her and set them aside. When everything was ready she walked over to her sister who didn't move a muscle while she was gone. She slowly stood her up and walked her over to the Bathroom and sat her down and the side of the Bathtub. She started to undressed her sister, getting her out of those dirty clothes and helped her into the water. Kara washed her sisters Hair gently, then her Back, Arms and her Face. She was sure not to hurt her and to be gentle. The whole procedure was done in complete silence on both sides. Kara not trying to focus to much on the scars and bruises that colored the Body in front of her and how she looked scarily thin, while Alex was just starring off into nothingness.

When Alex was dressed in her favorite Pyjamas and all cleaned up, the Alien guided her over to the Couch again. The Food she ordered arrived a few minutes later. She had gotten all of her sisters favorites and laid them out on the Coffee Table.

Alex didn't even look at the Food.

"Come on you have to eat something. Just a little bit, please?"

Kara couldn't take when still no reply or no acknowledgement came. She wanted to scream, she wanted to shake her sister, tell her to come back to her, for things to go the way that they used to be. The only time her sister seemed to acknowledge her presence was when she was about to leave the room to get something, then Alex would grab her hand and not let go until the younger sister assured her that she would just do something really quick and be right back. Other than that the once fierce Agent was like a Zombie.

Alex just didn't care. She didn't care if she was eating or talking or just sitting there. Caring was to much of an effort, she just choose to stay trapped in her own mind, not even trying to break through.

After 10 minutes of prying and getting her sister to eat, she went back to her last resource. Grabbing a fork, she put some Food on it and began to feed her sister. To her own surprise the older woman opened her mouth and let the Fork inside, not saying one word, still staring ahead as if she wasn't even noticing what was happening. Kara didn't care that she had to Feed her Adult sister, she was just happy the Agent was eating. Until, after a couple of minutes she shoot up abruptly, scaring herself and Kara.

"Alex, are you..."

The Superhero was interrupted by her sister violently getting sick on the living Room Floor. Kara jumped up, eyes wide.

"Oh God. Are you OK? Umm..let me get you some water and some tissues or towels or something."

She rushed off and came back with everything seconds later. She handed a bottle of water to her sister and began so rub slow circles on her back.

"I'm sorry..I'm so sorry." The young girl was frantic. "That was probably to much Food, not the right kind either and also to fast...y-your Body is probably not used to it right now..I mean after...You didn't eat properly for a while..I'm sorry I should have thought about it not just shove bad Food in your Face..I'm sorry Alex. I didn't mean to make you sick."

The young girl covered her mouth with her hands. She felt as if she was failing Alex on every possible level. What kind of sister was she?

"I am trying..I really am trying my best. I swear. I just want to help you."

She guided her away from the Living room so they were sitting at the kitchen island now.

"Are you better? Do you still feel sick?"

Alex shook her Head and The Hero's Heart jumped a little bit, that her sister was acknowledging her presence.

"OK. We'll lets just get you to bed and I'll clean up in here really fast."

A couple minutes later Alex was clean and tugged into bed while Kara used her super speed to clean up the mess in the living Room. She went to check on Alex again. The Agent was never one who wanted or needed a lot of closeness and cuddling, she only ever did it for Her little sister, knowing how much the girl longed Human contact. There was nothing more in the world the young girl wanted to to right now that to cuddle up next to her sister and fall asleep to her steady Heartbeats. But she didn't, she had to put Alex needs first. Kara kissed her sisters Forehead and turned off the bedside lamp.

"Goodnight Alex. I love you and I am so happy that you are back. I will be on the couch if you need anything, I'll be here when you wake up."

She wanted to leave but again a strong hand grabbed hers and this time, there were pain filled eyes looking back at her. Kara knew her sister good enough so read the question out of her eyes.

"Of course. You never have to ask. I will always stay with you."

Her reply was quick and in an instant she was in bed next to her sister. As soon as her Head touched the pillow, her sister was latched onto her. Alex laid her Head on her sisters chest and wrapped her arms tightly around the Alien's stomach. Kara lifted her arms in confusion for a second, looking down at the brunette that was now attached to her. She had not expected that kind of reaction from her sister, she wouldn't complain though, being happy to finally be some sort of comfort for her and doing something right with her. She slowly laid her arms on her sisters back and started to draw circles. They had slept like this thousands of times when Kara first came to live on Earth, or even later when she just had to be close to her sister. Yes, thousands of times probably, but this time was different. This time their roles were reversed.


	3. Chapter 3

Kara slowly walked around the Kitchen preparing some coffee and Breakfast. Last night had been rough, she didn't really sleep at all. Her sister woke up every couple of hours screaming and trashing in her bed, her sleep haunted by Nightmares. It had taken Kara long to calm her down, let alone get her back to sleep, each time. She had held her, rocked her and even sang for her, only for the older woman to wake up screaming her Name again an hour or so later. She had screamed for Kara, begged for help and pleaded with them to stop. Yeah, last Night was had called Mrs. Grant earlier, letting her know what was going on and that she wouldn't come in today. Even if 'The Queen of all Media' rearly showed it, she had a big heart. Her voice was thick with sympathy and understanding as she gave her Assistant the next week of.

The Hero went back to the Bedroom and found her sister still sleeping, it didn't look like a very peaceful sleep but at least she wasn't screaming or crying. She tried to tiptoe over to the bed, not to wake her sister, but of course failed when she pumped into the dresser. Kara cursed at herself as she saw Alex immediatly jumped up in bed. She had messed up. Again. Her sister needed all the sleep she could get, Kara knew that.

Alex looked around worried, taking her surrounding in and making sure everything was how it should be. The panic seemed to never leave her eyes.

The younger girl mover over to assure her everything was alright and helped her out of Bed.

"What do you say about some Breakfast and TV?"

She didn't even wait for a reply anymore just took Alex over to the living Room. She knew there would be no words coming out of her sisters mouth anyways.

After Alex was seated and comfortable she went back to the Kitchen, gathering everything she had prepared.

"I made you Coffee. Just the way you like it. I watched you do it thousands of times so I should know right?"

She talked as she walked around the kitchen, already being used to having these one sided conversations with her sister.

This time she set fresh cut fruits and chicken soup on the Coffe table instead of greasy Take out. She had learned from her mistakes. Alex wasn't looking at anything her sister was doing, she just stared out the window.

"You can eat some fruits and wait for the soup to cool off." Kara said as she plopped down next to her sister.

"Of course I didn't cut Apples. I know you hate them and they shouldn't be allowed to be fruit." She chuckled slightly and had hoped her sister would do the same.

"Or you can have some coffee. It's up to you."

Kara looked over to her sister, who was looking out the window into the different direction. She breathed heavily.

"Alex. Look. I don't want to make you sick again. If I don't know if you are full or if it hurts your stomach I just..."

The hero bit her lips and pushed the coffee table away slightly so she had enough space to kneel down in front of her sister.

The Blond was sitting there, steadying her hands on her sisters legs, looking up at her.

"Alex. I know it hurts. I know it is hard, but you have to talk to me. Please. I. I can't. I don't know what to do. I wish I did, but I don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I am falling you so terribly, but I can't."

She was trying to find the right words, trying to get her sister to come back to her, because the woman in front of her. No, she refused to believe that that was her sister now.

"Alex! Just at least look at me. Please. I am begging you. You have to pull through. I know it's easier to just stay on the ground when you hit Rock Bottom, but thats not who you are. No, you fight and you claw and if you have to you crawl, then you crawl. But you have to get up."

The Tears were close to spilling over her was pouring her Heart out in front of her sister, but there was no response. No movement, nothing indicating that Alex had even heard her.

"Alex." Kara half begged half called for her sister. She didn't know where to go from here. It was frustrating and terrifying at once.

The Agent was never one to be cuddled, never one that needed assuring words like the younger Danvers always had. She needed the simple Truth. Just that, no sugar coating. Kara knew what she was about to do next, what she didn't know though if it was the right thing, or if she would completely push her sister over the edge.

She stood up abruptly and stomped her feet on the ground, not to hard of course.

"Alexandra Danvers! That's enough! You will snap out of it and you will do so right now!" She breathed heavily, still unsure but she continued.

"When I came to live with you at first, I had lost everything. All I wanted to do was crawl under my blankets and stay there forever. But you... Oh you wouldn't let me! You pushed me to make it though. You saved me. And I will promise you that I will stop at nothing to do the same for you. You understand me? I won't let you throw yourself away!"

Kara bend down again so she was in her previous position, looking up at her sister, her hands on her time her voice was a little softer when she spoke.

"I know I'm supposed to be the strong one right now. I know I don't have the right to break down like this, I know I am failing, but I were gone so long and I missed you so much. I was so scared. I couldn't do it on my own. But I will be strong for you, I promise I will be your shoulder to cry on, you just have to let me in. You have to come back from this. Alex. I need you. I NEED my sister!

You are the strongest person I know... Supergirl has nothing on you."

She waited and thought she saw her sister move her Head slightly, but still she didn't turn towards her.

"Damn it Alex! At least look at me!", she almost screamed as she shook her sisters legs, just trying to get any kind of reaction.

Tears were now violently streaming down the blonds face. She let out one last sob and buried her hands in her Face. What else could she try?

Alex heard everything her sister said and she wanted to break out of her state, but she just couldn't. The thing was that if she let Kara in, she would also let the world and. And with that came reality with all the pain and memories that she was trying so hard to push away. If she'd open up to the world, she would be vulnerable. It was so much easier to just not think about anything and let life pass her by. But her sister was right, she wasn't that kind of person.

The hands that were suddenly on her head were so soft, that Kara almost didn't feel them at first. She looked up and saw her sister looking back at her. Another sob escaped her lips and Alex slowly reaches out to wipe the Tears from the girls Face.

"It's too much.", her voice was hoarse and emotionless.

"I know... I know it is, but I'm here.", the Alien said as she got up and sat next to her sister, still holing both her hands in her own.

They were facing each other and Kara gave her time to speak. After a little while her words came out. The Agents walls finally broke around her and the words came flooding out.

"Oh God. Oh my God Kara it was terrible. What they did. They. To people like you. To us. There was no way. And my Dad. Oh god my Dad! The screams. I just want it to stop... I want everything to stop and to be quiet. I need peace. I want it all to be over!"

She was talking fast, eyes wide, getting more and more frantic with every word.

"They did things...terrible things. I can't."

She got off the sofa and started to pace, nervously looking around.

"I can't get out. I need air. I have to get out. I can't breathe. It's too much. Everything. It hurts. I can't", her breathing was uneven and came out with hiccups.

Kara was hurt by what she saw in front of her but she knew that Alex needed this, she needed to break down so she could build herself up again, with her help of course. She was so thankful that she had broken through to her and got up and hugged her sister from behind, resting her chin on the older girls shoulder

"It's Ok. We'll get through this. Just Breathe. Just Breathe with me."

Alex calmed down and turned around, her sisters arms still around her waist.

"They're Dead." Tears immediatly filled her eyes and her hands flew to her mouth, as if she was shocked by her own statement.

"Who is?", Karas reply came in the blink of an eye. They stared at each other for a couple of long seconds.

"Alex. Who is Dead?", she pressed as she let her arms fall to the side.

Alex eyes widened and the full realisation finally hit her.

Her reply was muffled by the hands that were still in front her mouth, but Kara could make out what she said.

"Everyone."

—

So hers is Chapter 3. Hope you liked it, let me know what you guys think. And thanks to everyone that takes the Time to review. You're awesome!

Xoxo


	4. Chapter 4

Kara was in the Kitchen preparing dinner, while Alex sat on the sofa reading some random Book. She looked up from where she was cutting vegetables, letting out a sigh. The last two days had been rough. The Agent was following her around like a shadow, clinging to her and never wanting to be alone. She was talking and eating, which was good, but they hadn't left the apartment and she was yet to talk about what had happened to her. Kara went back to cutting the ingredients for the soup. She was planing on going out to get groceries tonight, Alex should be around other people, at least for a little bit and they were running low on a lot of stuff. With neither of them comfortable on leaving the other one at this time, they would go together. If Alex couldn't take it, her sister would be there and make sure she would be alright.

Kara smiled at herself, not looking up from the cutting board, as she remembered the first time she went grocery shopping with her new earth-family.

She had only been on the planet a little while and everything was still new to her. Alex headed of to the section with all the candy, leaving her new sister behind as she picked out her favorite snacks. Kara was shy at first, clinging to the shopping cart, that Eliza pushed, but then curiosity had gotten the best of her and she started wandering around the aisles, in awe of all the different foods and labels and the weird packaging they came in. It took her a little while to realize that she was lost, but when she did, panic set in. Tears started to run down the young girls face as she hide behind a shelf, hugging herself tightly. That was exactly how Alex had found her a couple of minutes later. She reassured her that everything would be alright and that she was there now. Then she didn't let go of the small Alien's hand until they were back in the car.

Kara smiled at the memory and turned around to put the cut ingredients in the boiling water. Her face dropped when she saw that the couch was empty. The spot where her sister was just sitting was not occupied by the brunette anymore. This shouldn't be a big deal, but looking at at events from the last two days, it was! Alex had not left the Hero's side and made it very clear that she didn't want to be alone. Kara quickly ran into the bedroom, just to find it empty as well. She turned around and wasted no time to look into the bathroom with her x-ray vision. There she saw her sister, she was standing with the her back to the blonde in front of the mirror, fiddling with something in her hands. The Hero squinted her eyes a little bit harder and then a gasp was caught in her through. She saw a couple drops of blood on the sink and didn't even take a second to think as she busted into the bathroom.

"Alex! Stop it! Don't!", the blonde shouted as she grabber her sister by the shoulders and violently turned her around. The Agent held up her hands in defense, her eyes wide and her face full of fear.

"Alex what are you..", Kara stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the source of the Blood drips. There was a small cut going down the side of the older girls finger. It wasn't bleeding a lot, but enough to make a little trail down to the palm of her hand. She looked from the cut to her sisters face and back, still holding her steady with both hands. She starred at the cut a little bit longer not even realizing how firm her grip was becoming.

"To tight.", the soft cries from her sister ripped her out of her non-human speed, she retracted her hands.

"Oh! Shoot. Sorry, I'm sorry Alex! What..What happened?" She looked at the Agent, realizing that she was shaking, still startled from her sisters sudden outburst.

"I..I got a Paper cut from the Book. I came in here to get a band aid.", she finished and let out a shaking felt the guilt overcome her as Tears formed in her sisters eyes.

"Oh, Alex. I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't mean to. I just thought that y-..", the Hero stopped herself before she finished the sentence, but she didn't stop soon enough.

"You thought what?", Alex suddenly seemed more aware of her surroundings.

Kara looked at the Floor in shame. That was answer enough for the Agent. After a couple of seconds the Fear in her eyes was quickly replaced by anger.

"You really think that of me? You think I'm that weak? That fragile?!", she was hissing at her sister.

"No...I just saw the Blood. And two days ago you said you wanted it to end and to st-.."

"You have no Idea! You don't know what I've been though! They died for me! So that I could get out!", she was full on screaming now.

Kara knew that Alex wasn't mad at her, she was just mad and needed to let it out and the Hero was the closest one, so she didn't mind when the Agent let out her Anger on her. She reached out and tried to put her hands on her sisters shoulder once more.

"Don't you touch me!", the brunette screamed as she pulled away. Her face was starting to get red and she got worked up as she continued to scream at the Alien in front of her.

"You really think after they gave up everything for MY life I would just throw it way?! You think so little of me?! You don't know anything Kara!"

The Hero had an apologetic and concerned look on her Face as she tried once more to reach for her sister, who again pulled away.

"I said don't touch me!" But Kara didn't pull away this time, she held on tight to the older Women.

"Let go! Let go of me!" Alex trashed in her sisters grip, her weak fists flying around, trying to latch onto anything, the Tears clouding her vision making it especially hard to aim. She beat against the Hero's chest and stomach, getting even more worked up when the younger girl didn't even flinch.

"Alex..I got you just calm down." The blonde kept her voice calm, although terrified of the brutal breakdown she was witnessing right in front of her.

"No! No they died for me! Because of me! Both of them! They told me to run and I did! Look at me! I'm a coward! I let them die!"

Kara pulled her sister towards her and held her close, not paying attention to the protest and punches she was receiving.

Finally the Agent let out one more frustrated and heartbreaking sob, before she let herself fall into her sister, knowing the Alien could easily support her full body weight. She was soon down to loud sobs and occasional hiccups, her head buried in her sisters neck.

"Shhh...shh its alright. Just breathe with me.", Kara said as she slowly lowered both of them to the Bathroom floor.

"Just breathe with me. Focus on my Heartbeat, don't listen to anything else." It almost felt ironic, Alex had told her the same thing thousand of times before.

They sat like this for a long time. The older woman in her sisters lap, with her hands tight around the girls stomach and her head on her chest, pressed tight against the spot where her Heart is. Soon the heavy sobs turned into soft sniffles which eventually died down as the Agent fell asleep right there. Kara rocked them back and forth, playing with the brunettes hair. She rested her chin on Alex head as she stated blankly ahead, her eyes sparkling with unshed Tears. Maybe they would try the grocery store tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Alex woke up with her Head on something warm and comfortable. Confused for a second, she lifted up her head to find that she was laying half on top of her little sister. Her head had been on the Aliens chest while her arms were tangled around the girls midsection. The blond had Alex wrapped up so tight, that she had no chance but to lay still against her. Even if she wanted to move out of this comfortable position she couldn't do so, without having to wake her. She tilted her head to look up at her sister, who was still sound asleep. She didn't looked very restful. More like she would jump up at the slightest noise, ready for a fight. Heroes don't really take breaks, there is always someone that needs saving. Alex frowned only realizing in that moment, that her sister probably haven't rested, really rested, in a long time. At least not since becoming Supergirl. And now she was only making it harder for her.

Kara started to stir under her, slowly waking up, she blinked a couple of times and then Alex immediately felt her body stiffen. The Agent felt a twitch of guilt in her stomach, she knew that she was the reason for her sisters high stress level.

"Hey.", Kara slowly said as she stroked her sisters hair, who's head was still lying against her chest, but looking in the different direction. There was a moment of silence, the brunette wasn't sure how to address last nights events.

"I'm sorry I used you as a punching Bag.", she whispered, knowing her sister would hear.

A soft chuckle escaped the blonds lips before she spoke. "That's alright. You can use me as a Punching Bag whenever you feel the need to."

She continued to play with her hair until Alex pulled away, sitting up in bed facing Kara now. The peacefully moment was cut short and a cold empty spot was left where her sister just lay. Kara looked at her sister, waiting for her to say something. If she had learned one thing in the last couple of days, it was to let her sister speak and give her the time to do so.

"You should go."

Well that was unexpected. Kara pushed herself up on her hands so she was more in a sitting position now.

"Alex? What-"

"No. I want you to go. I don't want you here. You should go back to your own place. Your own life. I'll be fine here. Just..Go."She was calm while she spoke, looking at her feet. Kara frowned and scooped closer to her sister, not reaching out for her yet.

"Alex? Why? What's wrong? You know I'm here for you and I love being here. I don't want to go."

"There are..." She took a deep breath and looked up at her sister now. "There are people out there that really need your help. Not me..I'm not..."

Kara kept her voice low, when Alex didn't continue after a while.

"You're not what?"

"Nothing, Kara. Just go. Please? People rely on you."

The blonde scooped a little closer to her sister, this time resting one hand on her leg.

"Alex. You are the most important thing to me in this world. This Galaxy. I won't leave you all alone when your not doing good. No matter how much you are begging me, I don't care if you don't want or need me here. I would never leave you. When it comes to you, everyone else just has to wait." She finished with a smile, hoping her sister would do the same, but her face stayed emotionless.

How much Kara missed that smile. Alex smiles were a special kind. The younger Danvers could smile all day long and usually did so. Her older sisters smiles on the other Hand, they were a little bit more rare. Making them all the better when they came out. It wasn't because she was unhappy, but simply because of her personality. And when she smiled at you it was a little bit like a reward. So full of love that it could sting your heart. And her laugh, her laugh could fill an entire room, so contagious and beautiful.

Kara pulled herself back into reality and looked at her sister, who's head still hung low. She placed her hand under the Agents chin and lifted it up so she had to look at her.

"Alright?"

A tiny nod came after a while and the brunette crawled into her sisters lap. The Alien dragged them back slightly so she was resting against the Headboard while Alex head was resting on her legs. She started playing with her hair again, feeling like its the only thing she did these days. The Agent was thinking how wonderful the world could be if they would just stay in this room forever. A comfortable silence settled between them until, without a warning, Alex began to speak.

"It took us a while to locate Cadmus, we were on the run for a long time."

Kara stiffed, not expecting Alex to talk about what had happened all of the sudden, but happy she was finally getting some answers. She stayed still and clung to every word, knowing better than to interrupt.

"I wanted to contact you everyday, but J'onn..J'onn said it wasn't safe." She was staring blankly ahead while she talked, letting her sisters touch calm her.

"When we found it, we created a plan on how to get in and then out with my Dad. It seemed like it would work, but we were naive. Not prepared enough. I..I rushed us in." She paused for a second, swallowing her Tears.

"They..They captured us. Separated us and then they..Experimented. I didn't know where J'onn or my Dad were. The days all blurred together. There was nothing. Just pain, screams..Hopeless. I was out of it most of the time, I think. Injected and then...tested."

Tears formed in Karas eyes. Every word stabbing her like a knife.

"I don't know how or what..One day the fire alarm went off and all the cells opened. I wasn't that sedated that day so I ran. I didn't even think twice if it was a trap or not. I just...ran. And then someone grabbed me."

A single Tears made her way down her face.

"My Dad. It was him. Him and J'onn. They somehow made an escape plan. They both looked terrible, just like me probably. I couldn't even say anything. It happened so fast, they dragged me along. The lights were flashing, the sirens were so loud and the guards and other prisoners were shouting. Just..Chaos. The Hallway we ran down was full of smoke. I couldn't see..Someone was holding my hand. I think. I don't know..."

She looked down at her hand as if she could figure out who's hand it was.

"No. Someone was definitely holding my hand."

After another long breath she let her hand fall down again and continued.

"The guard were getting closer. We ran as fast as we could, but we were so tired, they were faster. All I heard was an explosion. Then I fell and everything was a blur. I heard them argue. He wanted to carry both of us, we were both hurt...Dad Insisted on getting me out first so J'onn picked me up and we were outside all of the sudden. The fresh air and the sunlight felt so good."

She closed her eyes while reliving that moment. Almost as if she could feel the breeze on her face.

"He told me to run"

Her eyes opened again.

"I argued, but he told me he would go inside and get my Dad. I told him..He said..."

She closed her eye tightly, but tears were still spilling over.

"You don't have to keep going."

Kara placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

"Its alright.", she whispered against the brown hair.

"He said that 'he was OK with it' and then he ran back inside."

Alex knew she had to continue, if she wouldn't get the words out now, she never would.

"I took me a few seconds to regain myself and hold myself on my own feet, but then I tried to run after him. But then...the Explosion knocked me back a few feet. Everything was in flames..The whole..Cadmus was in flames, burning to the ground. My Dad and J'onn right in the middle of it all. I screamed so loud, but no one was left there to hear me. I knew there was no way someone could have survived that. I know it."

She finally broke out of the inhuman grip her sister had on her and sat up. She moved over to the end of the bed and let her legs fall over the side. Sitting on the edge of the bed with her head resting in her hands, Kara still leaning against the Headboard, trying to let the words sink in.

"So I ran. I took one last look and I just ran as fast as I could. As far as my Feet would take me..Until..Until you found me."

She turned around now, looking into those blue eyes making everything even harder.

"Kara..I-I left them. I left them to die! It's my fault. They died for me. Because of me!"

The Alien went over and wrapped her sister in a tight hug, letting her cry into her shoulder. There were a Million thinks she could say to her. Tell her she was there now, that she was safe. That she would be alright, but what was the use really? Her sister was broken and a couple of nice words wouldn't fix this, so she settled with just holding her in silence instead. She was relived that her sister had finally opened up, but it was beginning to become to much for the young girl. She coulden't handle seeing her sister breaking like this over and over again. Kara didn't know how, but she would fix this. She would fix her sister, even if its the last thing that she would do.

Thanks so much for all the awesome reviews! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story. Really appreciate you guys reading and taking the time to review. Thanks !

xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

"Yes..Yes Vasquez. I know-"

Kara paced back and forth, on the phone with the DEO Agent, who was kept interrupting her.

"Listen."She waved her hand, as if the other woman could see her. It was late in the evening and the Moonlight was the only thing illuminating the living Room Area.

"I know it is not much to go on, but you have t try. Please. If anyone can do it, it's you."She turned the corner and peaked into the bedroom, seeing her sister still sound asleep. The Phone was still pressed to her ear and she closed to door slowly to fully concentrate on the conversation again. The other Agent was rambling.

"Vasquez!", she whisper yelled.

"We have to do something. I know it seems impossible and its very dangerous, but you have to try. Please, for me."

Her voice softened.

"For her."

Silence filled the apartment for a few seconds.

"Oh! Thank you! Yes...Yes Keep me posted. I will be there as soon as I can. Yes I will. Thank you. Really." She waited for the reply and than hung up with a quick goodbye.

A small smile played on her lips. They would find out what had happened. Kara still had Hope. Maybe they were still alive, maybe they got out in time and were in hiding. Maybe Kara could bring them home. She had to try at least.

The Hero really wanted to stay with her sister, making sure she was OK and cared for, but she also had to do this. She was really torn on what to do, nervously biting her lips. Then, she made up her mind and unlocked her phone again. After the 3rd ring an answer came.

"Winn! Hey. I need a favor!"

/

One and a half hour later Winn was sitting in the older Danvers Apartment. His best friend had left about an hour ago and he was nervously tapping his foot. Although seated in front of the TV, he couldn't seem to relax. Of course he was in the light with everything that had happened and everything that was going on. That didn't take away the respect and slight Fear he had for the Agent. He knew she was not in on this and probably wouldn't appreciate the gesture. Just like that his thoughts were interrupted by someone calling his Name from behind him.

"Winn?"

He jumped up quickly and turned around.

"Alex! Hi! Um h-how are you doing? Did you sleep alright? I'm sorry if I woke you."

The Agent didn't respond to any question, she just looked around the Room nervously.

"Where is Kara?"

"Um..She had to go..She um Miss Grant needed her. There was no way around it. Yup, couldn't do this very important thing without her. This um Thing..Anyways, she said she was sorry but, but that shell be back as soon as she can."

Silence felt the Room. Winn giving her and awkward smile as the Agent just frowned at him. She really wasn't in the Mood for this.

"I don't need a Babysitter.", she said as she walked to the fridge to get a water.

"I know!", the reply cam a little to enthusiastic. So he settled down when he continued.

"S-she knows. I mean we know."

He avoided the brunette's gaze.

"It's just that in case you needed anything. She didn't want to just leave, but also didn't want to wake you."

Alex was boiling on the inside. Knowing her sister only meant well, but mad and embarrassed at the fact that the blonde got someone to watch over her. She saw a chance in the whole situation though, maybe she would be able to do something she was thinking about for days, but had no chance with when her sister was there. She moved over to Winn, sat on the sofa and faked a smile at him.

"Winn. I get it, really. You guys only tried to do what's best. Thank you for that."

Winn had a big smile on his face, happy that he could help.

"It's just that.."

Alex let out a long breath and then got of the sofa.

"Nevermind."

Winn frowned at her.

"Anyway I'm going back to bed. Help yourself with what you can find and Thanks again."

She was about to walk of when he stopped her.

"Wait! What is it..Maybe I can help." He took the bait.

"Nothing, I'm just a little hungry, that why I woke up. Kara and I had Takeout planed. But I wouldn't ask you to go get me Food."

"Oh don't worry about it! I'm happy to!" Winn was already up, his jacket in hand.

"What are you feeling like?"

"No Winn it's fine really."

"Ill just grab some Chinese and be right back. Don't you worry about a thing."

He finished and walked out the Door, giving the Agent one last quick smile, happy he could provide some help. When the Door closed behind him Alex took a deep Breath, it was the first time she was alone since she got back, really alone. She started to panic, but pushed all of those feelings aside and rushed into the Bedroom to change. She had to get out of there.

/

Supergirl was in the control Room, her and a few other Agents were looking at Maps and other Data to see where Cadmus could be and what was left of it. When her Earpiece rang she excused herself and turned around to take the call.

"Hey Winn! How are things looking?"

A frantic reply came fast.

"Kara I'm sorry! I was gone for 20 minutes. I think she played me she..I'm sorry." Her smile suddenly turned into a frown.

"Hold up! Slow down! What happened?" The concern was clear in the Hero's voice.

Winn took a calming breath.

"She's gone. Alex is gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?! Where did she go?"

"I don't know! I left to get some Takeout and when I got back...she Was gone."

Kara slammed her hand against her thigh.

"Dammit!"

She started pacing slightly, trying to think of a plan.

"Alright. You sit tight in case she comes back. I will..I will search the city and try to find her."

"Ok. Kara I'm sorry really I-"

"I know. It's although. Just hang on..I'll call you when I find her. You do the same."

"Alright."

With that she hung up and started walking towards the DEO exit. And then flying back to the city as fast as she could.

/

A couple of hours had passed and Kara was now on her sisters sofa, she had sent Winn home. He had complained but she said she could handle it. Supergirl had searched every inch of the city and hadn't found her sister anywhere. She was exhausted, but couldn't even think about sleeping before Alex was back. Horrifying scenarios played out in her head, when she thought about where her sister could be or what could happen to her. She was still in her Supergirl costume, debating whether to go out there again or to stay and wait.

The decision was taken from her when she heard a key turn in the lock and the door open shortly after. Alex walked in, stumbling slightly. She was holding up her hand which was bleeding. The cause was a deep cup in the palm of her hand. Also, she reeked of Alcohol.

"Alex!" Kara shouted and was at her sisters side half a second later.

She couldn't decide between anger, relief or concern, so she settled for all tree of them at once.

"What the hell were you thinking! What happened? Are you OK? I have to get you to a Hospital! Why would you just leave like that?! You could've just let me know!" She was franticly checking her sister over, wrinkling her Nose from the strong smell that came from her.

"Ka.."

"Lets get you cleaned up and I will take a look at that cut. See if we have to go and get you stitches"

"Kara I'm.."

"Don't. We'll talk about it tomorrow. When you're all sober and better."

Kara didn't look her sister in the eyes the whole time and turned the other way to direct her towards the bathroom.

"Kara! I'm not.." Alex stopped and pulled her arm free from her sisters grip, stumbling back in the process.

"Just look at me for a second. I-"

"No Alex! That's the thing! I CAN'T look at you!" Kara was shouting as she spun around.

"You promised! After everything that happened tree years ago. You promised! You said you'd never do it again! You don't even know! You don't know how I begged you or how I picked you up from different Bars every single night! I begged and cried for you! I wanted to have my sister back and you ignored it! You ignored ME & your words...they Hurt so much. Damn you didn't even remembered the next morning! Pretended that nothing happened & PROMISED me it wouldn't happen again. Just for us to go through the same game the next night. And here we are again! I leave you alone for five freaking seconds & you go out and do this?!"

Her voice softened at the last part

"And get yourself hurt to?"

Kara stopped her rant and looked her sister in the eyes. Oddly enough they didn't seem glazed over and glossy like they usually did.

"Kara.."Alex voice was shaking. She had no idea that her sister felt this way

"I'm not drunk. I didn't have one sip."

The blondes shoulders slumped over in disappointed, she had hoped that her speech had some kind of effect on the Agent.

"Alex..Please. Just don't. Don't lie to me. I can smell it all over you. You told me that a Million times before."

She tugged her sisters arm again and hung her head.

"Let me just clean you up and take care of your hand. We'll talk about it in the morning." The Hero sounded defeated.

"You probably won't remember.", she mumbled to herself.

"No. Kara listen."

Alex tugged her arm free once more and used her good hand to spin the Alien around by her shoulder.

"I'm telling the truth. Just look at me. I'm sorry. I did went out to get drunk. I bought a bottle and sat on a park bench for a long time. I started feeling really bad about everything. About what I was putting you through...so I couldn't. I couldn't let you deal with one more thing. Even though it would have felt so good to make everything go numb for a while. But I promised didn't I? I felt terrible, so I got up and tried to get back as fast as possible, I tripped when I was running with the bottle in my hand. That's how I cut my hand and got the Liquor all over myself."

She took a deep Breath.

"I am really telling the truth here. I'm sorry." Tears were welling up in the older sisters eyes.

"I'm sorry that I'm making you feel that way." She was about to ask for forgiveness one more time when her sisters arms wrapped around her faster than she could look. Her grip making it almost hard to breathe.

"Oh god. Thank you. Thank you for keeping your promise."

* * *

Alright guys, really didn't plan this chapter to got this way, but it kinda happened. Well. What do you guys think about it? Thanks for all the reviews and all the people who take the time to read! You are the best.

xoxo


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